01 december 2009

Comments on a trip to Finland

A couple of weeks ago I went on a cruise to Finland together with G and LenaBell - and Gavin. Hadn't met Gavin before, only had him described to me as "the crazy south african". Well, here's his story of what REALLY happened on the boat. Don't believe all of it - remember, he doesn't speak the language.


On Thursday 5 November, I visited 2 very good friends in Stockholm. I had not seen them for 2 years, and whilst excited to see them, I had been to Stockholm before and so wanted to get out of town for the 3 days I was there. Nothing like being invited and then telling your friends what to do for the weekend…


I love the outdoors, so was keen to into the far North of Sweden, but time did not allow. So a boat cruise to Finland was planned. I was very happy with this as I love going to new countries and Finland sounded cool.
As I was going with a couple, they arranged for a friend of theirs to join us so we had 4. So I met Susannah, or Sussi as she prefers/insists on being called. Before the trip we became friends on Facebook, and as it is with girls from Scandinavia, she is very good looking.

The night before the cruise, we met some guy who had been on the boat before and he said it would be good and “if you did not get laid, you were gay”. Well I was going to have to be gay, because being married I had to behave and I am not the hottest guy around either. Anyway I came to have fun and that is what I intended to do….and one can always meet a girl and dance and party but just not shag can’t you??…yeah right…

So we all met on Friday 6 November and waiting for the boat at the terminal, so we start to see who our fellow passengers would be for the next 24 hours…We were by far the best looking group there. A hot Norwegian blonde, a gorgeous Swedish brunette and a handsome Swedish guy, and then me..Slightly overweight, 41 year old South African….Top drawer if you ask me…

With some time to wait we started something we would do a lot of…DRINK. Good quality beer. It was then I realized that my credit card was going to hurt. In South Africa we pay around 7 SEK for a beer, 15 SEK for whisky, Gin, Wine, etc. Here I was paying SEK 65 – 85 a drink. Oh well, nothing money cannot fix and who cares. We are out to party. My friends laugh at my clips of 50 SEK notes…Seems you only go out with big notes in Sweden….

So onto the boat we go, up to our cabins. I feel bad as I am splitting the couple up, but the feeling soon goes…We chill out on the cabin listening to music on the laptop and through speakers we brought onboard. The neighbors are getting nervous as it is a noisy room we have.. We crack the Veuve Cliquot champagne and the party is officially on. I am so happy. With my good mates and I believe I have met another really nice person in Sussi and I hope we can be friends as well….Pity I am not 25 and single…then I quickly come back to reality…

The girls get all made up. They now look hotter than before. We WILL be noticed.
Off to dinner. My first time ever on such a boat and I am very impressed with all the stuff onboard. Dinner was good, and meant we now had something in the stomach to absorb all the alcohol we were ready to drink…No shooters but…Please…All this talk of tequila, Cock-sucking cowboys, and others mixtures is not good.


We gamble a bit..a waste as the max bet is 1 SEK. Winning at roulette means you win 35 SEK…HALF A BEER…FFS, let’s just get hammered rather..

The live band we go to, is good but not the best. They are playing normal tunes but not banging music, but we get dancing and partying a bit, especially to an old anti-apartheid song from South Africa – “Give me hope/head/dope Joanna”.
Sitting having drinks, Sussi tells me her game plan for tonight. She is looking for a 25 year old guy, and if the right one comes along tonight, then the boat may rock a bit more tonight…I wish her well, but want her to take care as well. I know what us guys are like…she says she will be fine. I believe her.
(Note to mom - thins obviously isn't true.)

We head up to the real disco upstairs and the party now gets seriously underway. Booze is flowing, and music is much better. Sussi finds some guys, Gunnar the Swede is dancing and Lena and I are chilling out. The party is carrying along nicely, not wild, but just fast enough to have a good time.
A little Jagermeister to wake us up, and we push on for some more hours. At around 4:30am it is time for some sleep…Gunnar and Lena sneak into one cabin, and I am alone in the other. Sussi is partying… I am officially gay…

At around 7:30am a knock on my door. Sussi is back and wants to talk…she did not rock the boat…What about sleep??? No ways..We talk for a good few hours. Awesome chats. I learn a lot about her. I like her more. She wants to come to Africa. I do what many people do to me on my travels around the world – invite her to come and stay with us, and tell her that I will take her around wherever she wants and keep her safe. She is excited and wants to come see us. Deal done. I LOVE having people visit us.

I am feeling stuffed, but the next energy wave is coming along and we wake the lovebirds in the next cabin and tell them it is time to get going again. After all they cannot shag all weekend…Drink all weekend = YES. Shag all weekend = NO..

Whilst this is going on, I miss my chance to go ashore in Finland…and I even paid extra for a special visa…Oh well I will just have to come back another time.
We go to breakfast at 11:30. I gather that we have one hour only to eat….Seems a bit army like …Anyway there is free beer and wine on tap. We carry on where we left off the night before…drinking…breakfast is horrible…but the people I am with are fantastic. I wonder what they think of me? Well they are still talking to me so, cannot all be bad.
We try and go to the Jacuzzi, but you cannot have male and female in the same area….No f…..g love boat this…seems strange and disappointing as the last thing I want to do is share it with men only..Being called gay is one thing…being gay is completely different…
So it is off to the duty free bottle store and it is like a beehive as everyone cashes in on cheap booze…We buy beer, champagne and Vodka…Did someone say let’s have a drink??

Then some fool jumps off the boat, and we have to stop and rescue him..He survives and we carry on home.

We have a quiet drink in a bar, watching the very drunk people dance and behave like they are superstars….Maybe we were like that last night??
So we head back to the cabin for the last few hours of the trip, and amazingly we decide to do something we have not done yet…drinking. We sing along to songs and even dance to a few..I love it. Superb quality time with friends… I kind of do not want it to end..but my liver will quit soon…

Soon the party is over. We disembark carrying our booze and stuff. Tired, we go home quietly… and poor in pocket but rich with memories…

For me, it was superb. I spent quality time with quality friends. I met new people, had a good drink up and party, was able to relax and forget work, business and other things. I missed my wife – she would have loved the experience, and I would not be classified gay…

Thanks my friends for an awesomely good time. I cannot wait for the next time, which may just be in South Africa in August/September 2010…

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